Internet is the best invention ever, but sometimes also the worst. Many people write a lot of crap on their websites. The most horrible ones are the ones named something with wiki. I’m not talking about wikipedia because that’s brilliant, I use it all the time when I teach. But I’m talking about the rest. For those who don’t know: Wiki means that everybody can change/add content, most of the time, lot of crap is uploaded.
I was a bit wandering online, looking for things to write about and I stumbled upon this article from WikiNut (They should change it into WikiNot) about conquering a shoe addiction. I laughed so hard I couldn’t breath, it’s horrible (no offence). Below are the tips she (or he? I dunno) gave, with my comments.
1. Make an inventory
Why? True shoe addicts know exactly what kind of shoes they own. I don’t think it matters how many shoes you have. What is the difference between 150 and 200? Nothing, right? I know precisely what shoe is in what shoebox. I’ve organized my shoe collection a bunch of times, but it definitely never stopped me from buying more shoes. One black heel is not like the other so you always need to get that perfect black heel!
The writer claims that selling your beloved heels will help you too. For example that pair that makes you roll down the stairs every time. Wrong! That pair is perfect for a seated party! 🙂 I already have a hard time giving my shoe repairman my shoes, let alone sell my shoes to someone who isn’t trusted by me and will mess up my shoe! Horror!
3. Wear out some shoes
Tell me. How can a shoe addict wear out shoes? Shoe addicts are known for perfectly preserving their shoes from dust, rain and other dirt. The writer even writes: “you can wear out the shoes, so that you have a clean conscious when you buy another pair to replace.” What’s the point of conquering your shoe addiction if you replace one pair by another?
4. Avoid the shoe department for a few weeks
Guuuurl! A drugaddict needs to avoid drugs for the rest of his life. Addicts always have weak moments. If you really want to stop buying avoid the shoe department for at least a year and then slowly (and with supervision or without credit card) visit them every once in a while (preferably: never).
5. Stop reading the fashion magazine
True, fashion magazines are horrible, cause they always talk you into buying that prefect looking (always expensive designer) heels. But my jaw dropped when I read this: “A pair of shoes that looks nice in the advertisement will not look nice in your closet” mostly because she claims you are attracted by the add and not the shoe. Not true!! Shoe addicts know exactly what they like and everything will look fab in their closet. If it doesn’t match anything, a true shoe addict won’t ever hesitate to buy a matching outfit!
Image by Dion Pollard